The Bridge

I had a best friend
her name was Terri we new each other about 5 years
from 8th grade until 9/11/1999 when she took her own life...
at the time we were distant she was heavy into drugs and I was 9 months pregnant.

I still remember where I was when I heard the news, sitting on my moms couch our neighbor had come to the door with the news paper, and asked if Teresa had a middle name I said yes it was Michelle and asked why after that its all a blur I remember screaming "No" and someone picking me up off my knees, and then I called her house and spoke with her aunt apparently things were to hard for her and no one saw what was really going on with her.

The next day was her funeral, the church was filled with loved ones and my aunt Carmen sang it was a beautiful service, we rode to the cemetery where Indian dancers danced, and we all just sat in silence remembering where we were when we last spoke to her... I was at the park and I saw her, she was with her friend high on something, I was about 5 months pregnant and she said that she was so happy for me, she was distant and looked lost, but I just figured it was the drugs, when I left her that day she was dancing at the bottom of the hills like she was some sort of angel with her arms spread spinning around.
I will always remember her playing the clarinet in the marching band when we were Freshman, we got to travel so much since she was in the band and I was in flags, we had so much fun together, after football games on Fridays we would go and hang out at each others houses or sneak out of each others houses to get into trouble. I use to call her "peanut" because a boy she secretly had a crush on went to her window one night and yelled "Terri my little peanut" it was stupid but we were only 14 so it was clever! We had 9th grade science together and our teacher would always make fun of us and say that we were connected at the hip, she was out spoken and I was shy we were the perfect combination... I don't really know what changed her 4 years later, I just wish that we would have seen the signs and tried to help her more.

The reason that I am thinking about her today is because last night Grumpy and I watched a documentary called The Bridge its is about suicides that happen on the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, it was pretty hard to watch, they actually show people climbing up on the railing and jumping it is insane! They sat there for a year and 24 people took their own life. they showed one man actually pulling a woman back over by the hood of her sweater to stop her from jumping, it was a really sad movie and it really makes you think, is there anything that can be done to prevent this? There have been 7 attempts to make a suicide bearer but the plans always fall threw an 8th plan is in the works right now. The railing is only 4 feet tall so really anyone can jump over it, alot of people use the term "romantic" when they talk about jumping off the bridge, I for one see nothing romantic about taking your own life, there is always another answer. Isn't there?
This is the only photo I have of Terri....


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